Dumb people do the Master Cleanse. Idiots do it twice.

 

That was my FB status today. Yep. Did it again. Lost about 3 pounds, and 3 days later, I found them…. with their friends, next to the enchiladas. This was supposed to be my year of change. Focusing on health and well-being. I told my self I was doing the cleanse just to clean out the pipes and make a fresh start, but really, I just wanted to lose 10 pounds.

I turn 40 this September and want to do something great, like get my boobs done or maybe some inner thigh lipo. Ooooooh, thigh lipo. In reality, I’ll probably just buy a Genie Bra and some mom jeans.

Speaking of fatties, the challenge is on once again with Fat Tom and I. It goes until June, so I’ve got time to do this the right way. He, of course, has lost over 10 lbs already. All I need to do is pop a few Twinkies in the mail to fix that one.

I found a nice lady down the street who sells dried bats! Low carb AND paleo! I bet Fat Tom doesn’t have a bat lady.

Bag O Bats

Bag O Bats

Has anyone tried the honey and cinnamon diet drink? I’ve just heard about it again from another friend and one said she was going to try it. The jury is still out. Let me know if it has worked for you.

I think I’ll stick to the low carb street snacks that they have here in China. So many options, and with all the shells, tails and heads to maneuver around, I’m bound to eat less volume.

Lunch on the street. Scorpions and seahorses!

Lunch on the street. Scorpions and seahorses!

With living in China, you’d think I’d be so skinny. I still believe it’s going to happen. We have our 10 year wedding anniversary this summer, a trip to Bali planned and my 40th. Now if those things are not motivation to look my best, then I don’t know what is. My new goal is simple: Lose a pound a week. That would be 26 lbs by summer and our trip to Bali. Now, I have no desire to lose 26 lbs, but 20 would be a dream! That would put me at a healthy 120 pounds. Just right for my 5’2″ frame.

Ok, fingers crossed that this VPN keeps working and I get ┬áback on the blog wagon. I know you’ve all been missing me bitch and moan about my fatness! What’s my next crazy diet attempt? I don’t know yet, but you, my friends, will be the first to hear about that. Aren’t you just thrilled?

Don't ask....

Don’t ask….