Always a silver lining……..

About two months ago I had a really frightful experience. Coy was sleeping downstairs with Kaia, Noah was at a sleepover and I was in our bed with the twins who were both sick. At about 2:30 AM, I’m woken up by a strange clicking noise and a strange sensation on my neck. I pull off my sleep mask to find out the noise is a flashlight being flashed on and off into my face.

Next, it was flashed onto a knife which was then placed back on my throat. I was blinded by the light, but got a clear view of that knife and I knew that shit was not about to, but was in fact, already going down. It was a Chinese man, a very desperate one. I had to wake up real fast. I figured if he was going to slit my throat, then why did he bother waking me up? So I slowly sat up, thinking I’ve got to get this man out of my room. NOW.

I cautiously reached for my cell phone, even while he was saying not to in Chinese. I tapped on the light to show him my two 4 yr. olds who were asleep in bed with me. He kept the knife on my throat as we walked out of the room. At this point, I assume he’s looked around downstairs and I assumed that Coy and Kaia were dead. Trying to walk in the dark, knife to my throat, with that though in mind, was the longest moments of my life. It was as if I was having a heart attack but fully functioning through it.

I then asked him in Chinese (thank GOD I can speak Chinese) if he wanted money and he said yes. I told him the money was downstairs. I just wanted to get him away from my kids as quickly as possible in case he (or I) decided to make a dangerous move. On the way downstairs, he removed the knife from my neck, twisted my arm around my back and placed the knife back into the center of my back. Then he asked me where my husband was and I realized they were still alive. I finally let out my breath and I told him he was “sleeping with our baby,” but didn’t mention where. As we walked past the room he and Kaia were sleeping in, he pointed at it and asked what was in there. I told him it’s my son’s room and just has toys and children’s clothing.

When we reached the front door I knew that the best thing to do would be NOT to wake up Coy, and to just get this guy out of my house as calmly as possible. I kept whispering to him, “I understand,” and “I want to help you.” I handed him my wallet and slowly opened my front door. The entire time he is telling me “NO.” But I did it anyway. My thoughts kept telling me to remain calm, but at that point I knew it was almost over. I wasn’t going to rock the boat.

As he stood there counting the money in my wallet, asking me which bills were fake, and what my bank cards do, I pulled off my wedding ring and tossed it. I lied about my bank cards and said they only work in the US and Hong Kong, so he left them behind. All he wanted was cash. He was desperate. He then handed me back my empty wallet, put his knife in his bag and began to walk out of my house. He only turned to say, if you call anyone, I’ll return and kill your family. Ouch. Then I offered to help him open my front gate and thanked him for not hurting my family. It was all a bit surreal.

After he left, I turned on every light and ran through the house checking doors and windows until I found where he’d come in at. The slider. I locked it up, took a big breath and went to wake up Coy. All I said to him was “Emergency!” and he jumped out of bed. When I told him what happened, Coy grabbed a knife and jumped on his scooter to find the guy. He told the security guard and they dove into action. German Shepherds and guards suddenly appeared from everywhere, within minutes.

Then we all heard a woman scream. He was in another house. The dogs ran straight there and they caught him in the act. I had to go down to the police station along with two members of the other family for questioning. This guy will be locked up far away for a good number of years.

We immediately moved out of our house and into a new one just down the road. That was step one of the recovery process. Step two was getting on anxiety medications since every chinese guy suddenly looked like that very same guy. Step three was tackling the nightmares. I was given all sorts of sleeping pills which worked for a bit. Every night in the beginning, I never wanted to go to sleep because of the reoccurring nightmare of my children being slaughtered in front of me one by one. I couldn’t wake up until it was over. My current nightmares are now just ones where my kids have been kidnapped and that one goes on forever, and again, I can’t control it or wake up out of it. Right now my doctor is most concerned with me developing PTSD. I’m back at work and it’s good for me to keep busy. The nightmares are the reason that the invasion never really seems to go away. Even when I’m happy, I’m thinking about it. Not the best way to  start off my 40’s.

So what is this title of silver lining mean? Well a few things.

1. I got to go out and buy cute silky pajamas since I’ll never risk sleeping in the nude again. (Fortunately I has some on that night because the kids were in bed with me).

2. Every panic attack I have must burn an additional 3,000 calories (And it could be counted as a cardio workout since it feels like a heart attack.)

3. I learned that I’m the one you want to sit next to when the plane is going down! Apparently, I can calmly function under insane, possible life or death situations.

4. But the most silvery of all the linings is this one: I’ve lost 10 lbs!! Nothing like a knife to the throat to knock off a few pounds!

So friends, I’m sorry too have been gone for so long. I’m really looking forward to some fun blogs and reading your as well!

Best wishes and stay away from the Christmas cookies!