Two-faced people aren’t so bad….

I realized that not only have I let the fatness get back out of control, I’ve also lost all motivation to, as my mother says, “put a face on.” It’s just so time consuming to have to put on makeup, blow dry my hair, flat iron, curl, whatever. Hell, it’s just hard enough these days to drag my lazy, Twinkie filled butt to the shower! Where has all my motivation gone to?

But to be fair, I’ve had back to back flu, food poisoning and now walking pneumonia. It’s not been a pretty sight. However, three weeks of no appetite, nausea and bed rest is every weight loss competitors dream right? Think about it… slurping broth, puking it out and losing muscle tone all at the same time! Yeah baby! For sure I was going to slip right into “the pants” after enduring three weeks of this torture, right?

I gained a pound.

But no worries, now that I’m feeling better, I’ve decided to at least put some effort into looking my best. Meet halfway. ¬†Who said it’s bad to be two-faced anyway?

PS. If you click on the photo and it shows up SUPER BIG on your computer, not only will you get an awesome view of my massive pores and crows feet, but you can see that my eyelashes are in fact growing quite long. I’m using Lilash and so far, I’m pretty excited about it!

Ok, so there was a picture here previously, but a year later I deleted it because it was just CREEPY!

Thank you, Baba Yogi.

Last week, I was shopping in Hong Kong, when my credit card was denied. This sort of thing happens fairly often as technically Hong Kong is not part of China, which is where we live. Although it’s only an hour away, VISA seems to think that once a month for the past seven years, my card gets stolen by the same random, presumably balding, shopper who always happens to go to Hong Kong to buy Nioxin Shampoo and Oprah magazine. My first two purchases almost always go smoothly but, by purchase number three, which is usually something impressive, like a box of tampons with ten people in line behind me, that I get denied. This time however, it was when I was trying to buy some face wash and skin cream at Clinique.

So what do I do when this happens? Well, I first call the number on the back of my credit card and yell at the poor person who happened to answer my call. I tell them how ridiculous this is. They tell me it’s for my security. Then I tell them right now I need tampons, not security. Then they tell me that I’m not the primary card holder and my husband has to call. Then I interrupt my husband in some important work meeting and demand that he call VISA to release the hold. This last time he was especially thrilled as he was asleep while on a business trip in Canada.

So Coy calls the credit card, authorizes the release and calls me back. “It says that you are spending $200 at the clinic?” The Clinic? I ask myself. What is he talking about? And then it dawns on me…. oooh, Clinique. Then it really dawns on me. Oh shit, he’s gonna figure out that I spent $200 on freaking face cream! Maybe I should just play along? “Oh yeah…… that’s right, the clinic. I have a yeast infection.” That will gross him out enough to inquire no further.

No, I spilled out the truth and guess what? He said, “Ok, I’m glad you got what you needed.” Really? That’s it? Funny thing is, later that day, I met a “yogi.” He was some sort of Indian fortune-teller. He told me that I will continue to have an excellent marriage, but that I have to “trust.” I think I know now what he meant. Thank you Baba Yogi for your wise words. Even if you were just trying to scam me out of some cash, you got me thinking. Thinking that I’m one lucky girl to have such a great guy.

 

Hubby Coy chowing down on some Hot Pot!

Hubby Coy chowing down on some Hot Pot!