Why you so fat?

“Why you so fat? Before you more skinny.”

“Oh, now you fat. Ha ha ha.”

“This one (pointing at my ass) more bigger.”

“You eat everyday Mc Donald’s?”

What can I say? Welcome back to China to me! The Chinese definitely have a way with “compliments,” that’s for sure. But, there is something to be said for honesty, right? I think it’s called, “Keep your “compliments” to yourself!” Ha ha.

During my blogging hiatus, I managed to pack on an embarrassing ten more pounds. I was/am absolutely disgusting. “Ohh, I’d better go to Taco Bell, who knows when I’ll get that again?” The same went for burgers, donuts, muffins… you name it, I ate it.

I did do a brief ten day cleanse through Advocare, but other than that, I worked hard on building this fat butt. Finally an achievement of impressive magnitude, literally. Sigh.

We just downloaded a VPN which will temporarily allow me to blog, go on FB, etc. Now you will get a chance to hear about life in China combined with details of how I once again got into my skinny jeans. With my track record, by the time that happens, skinny jeans will be out of style again. “One mom’s quest to be reunited with her WIDE LEGGED TROUSERS,” just  doesn’t sound like such a big feat, if you ask me.

A sneak peek into what’s in store for you, my devoted followers of my fatness……

This morning I called the front desk of the hotel where we are temporarily living, to tell them that we had too many mosquitos in the room. Five minutes later a team of men in full gas masks, HazMat jumpsuits, with hoses the width of my head attached to tanks of poison on their backs, were knocking at my door. “Hello lady, you leave now.” I was just standing there in my PJ’s and bathrobe. Mouth open. Ghost Busters? Somehow I convinced them to come back tomorrow. This time I’d better have my camera ready.

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14 thoughts on “Why you so fat?

  1. Oh Maria, you have a special way with words and fortunately an exciting life. 🙂 Thank you for sharing it with us all. Loveyou lots!
    oxoxox

      • I am finally catching up on my emails and was shocked to see you have returned to China??? For how long??? Where is the city you are living in? I can’t wait to hear more about your overseas’ adventures! Went to Simmons today. Major remodeling going on. It was kind of depressing. Stressful for everyone. I help Tanya once a week in her 1/2 combo and hang out with Kathy Brody now and then. Life is good here. Gina lives 1 mi. from me and I love being that close to my grandkids. Phil and his wife now have a son named Dane. He’s 4 mos. old.
        Keep us posted, if possible, in the land where I thought Facebook was forbidden.
        LOL, Jean

  2. Hi Maria, I don’t have your email- please write me. You are amazing to move back to china, hope all is well. You crack me up. Xoxo Mimi

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