So far life in B’ville had been smooth, pleasant, quiet and well, a bit boring. EVERYONE is nice, polite, warm, welcoming and friendly. Where were all the desperate housewives I’d hoped to befriend? I thought for sure I’d move in onto Wisteria Lane and my Stay at Home Mom days would be filled with coffee (cocktails), gossip, drama and hot lawn care guys. I was somewhat disappointed, yet ultimately relieved, to have seemingly normal neighbors who say hello, talk to my kids and bring over tomatoes. But still, I was longing for some good ole, small town drama. Isn’t that a perk of living here? Everyone knows everything? Apparently, I know nothing. That was until yesterday. Ahh, finally! My first moment of drama and verification that I do not live in the land of Leave it to Beaver after all. B’ville has just as many crazies as everywhere else. Ok, so a lot less, but still.
Yesterday was my first day as a soccer mom. I loaded up the crew and headed to the field. After parking my car, a little sports car zipped into the spot right next to me. And I mean RIGHT NEXT TO ME. I shimmied out of my driver’s seat and politely informed the lady that she was a bit close and I was worried my kids would ding her car. SHE. LOST. IT. It was the funniest thing I ever saw. It was as if I had no right asking her to do a damn thing. Jamming her car back in gear, barking, “Is this far enough for you?! Huh? Is it? Is it?” Making a spectacle of herself by opening both her passenger side doors to make sure I saw that she was now, in fact, far enough away. As she teetered off in her sky-high (and very cute by the way) wedges, my three year old, Maddox, shouts, “That old lady is bad to my mommy! My daddy is gonna spank her butt!” So need to take that boy out for ice cream.
Who knows, everyone has bad days. Me, especially. But I want to say “thank you,” scary, high-heeled, sports car driving lady for having your bad day. I needed a bit of drama and now I’ve finally got something to bring to the table. Yeah, I think I’m gonna like it here after all!
So I’ll end this with a picture of my son and I at Walmart. He’s into Plants vs. Zombies. Whenever anyone passed our cart, he stuck his arm in the air and cried, “Brains! Brains!” He’s awesome. I’d better take him out for ice cream, too.