Today at CrossFit I tried (more like considered) doing an actual pull up. The board said we were supposed to do 18. I thought, people who do pull-ups are mega fit. People who do pull ups are light as a feather. People who do pull-ups do NOT look like me. But wait a minute, I bet Caveman Danny probably does pull-ups too, so why can’t I? I mean, this is a competition, right?
Just as I was about to stack up a bunch of weights and do some jumping pull-ups (as my warm up, naturally), the ring leader, Brian walked by. I asked him what alternatives there were to doing pull-ups. He said I could row on the rowing machine until it says I’ve burned 20 calories. I thought he meant 20 calories per pull-up. He meant 20 calories TOTAL.
Do you know what this means? Do the math people! That is about 1 calorie per pull-up!! Who in their right mind would want to do a ridiculous pull-up for a mere one calorie burn? Hanging there like a limp wet noodle, then kicking your legs like you’ve just had an electric taser shot up your ass, followed by some gorilla like grunt as you hoist your chin up over the bar that is already covered with some other person’s chin sweat? For ONE calorie? Not me I tell you. I can think of many more ways to efficiently burn 20 calories today…..
1. Walk with the kiddos to Braums (ice cream place) (-100 cal), eat an ice cream (+180), walk back home (-100 cal). Total burned: 20 calories.
2. Fold the 4 loads of laundry that reside on my sofa.
3. Make all 5 beds in the house.
4. Eat some celery and grapefruit while watching Housewives of Orange County.
5. Give myself a mani/pedi.
I bet you can guess which one of those options I’ll be choosing. Actually, I’ve probably just burned 20 calories from all the typing and heavy duty thinking I’ve had to do for today’s blog post. Come to think of it, I should probably give myself a little snack. I’ll post all my diet and workout stats on Monday. I bet for the first time you will be impressed, by me. Until then, send me some love or better yet bit of fun to keep me motivated.