Out The Door With Four or More. What NOT to Do.

Any volunteers?

Out The Door With Four or More. What NOT to Do. The title of my new book. Well, the one I’ve written in my head at least. Originally, it was just Out The Door With Four or More, but obviously I’m ill equipped to write such a fictional self help book. Here are a few samples of my What NOT To Do:

1. Never commit to an arrival time. You will NEVER be on time. EVER. Even if you are on time, someone for sure will

A: Pee in their car seat even if they just went 5 minutes before (Potty training SUCKS)

B: Throw up down their shirt

C: Pee or throw up on YOUR shirt

2. Never put your kids’ shoes on before arriving at your destination. They WILL take them off along the way. 

3. Just because the garage door is shut, doesn’t mean the neighbors can’t hear you screaming. Here are some favorite quotes I entertain my neighbors with.
“Who do you think is gonna wipe your butt when Mommy is in the insane asylum?!”
“I’m putting you all up for adoption if you don’t get in the car NOW!”
“Santa does NOT give gifts to kids who call each other Poo-Poo! I’m calling him RIGHT NOW! Is that what you want?!”
I seriously can go on and on. I’m a hot mess. Reality TV would have a field day at our house. It can be a reality show geared to PREVENT teen pregnancy. Instead of Teen Mom 2, it can be called So You Want To Be A Mom 1. We’ll see how many teens are eager to be a mom after watching my show.
So as you can see, since I’ve started the Maria Plan, I have lost 3 lbs! Forget the fact that I was sick for a week. 3lbs is 3lbs! Now to keep the ball rolling. My fellow fat blogger Tom  and I are going to do a weight loss challenge. More on that once we decide what the specifics are.
Today is Day 2 of my C25K 8 weeks of running! So far so good. Am excited to get out and burn some frustration tonight. Oh and some fat too.

 

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9 thoughts on “Out The Door With Four or More. What NOT to Do.

  1. So Maria! I’m so glad your liking the run thing. I don’t know if you remember but Jenny and I used to run to SRVH and back almost daily. Granted, I was usually grounded and this was the only way for me to get out of the house, but the point is, it gave me a love for running that ive taken through my entire adult life. Two years ago I did a10k with my then 11 year old. I gave him the usual warnings about how to take it easy at first and ‘dont be a hero’ and conserve energy, etc. All for nill….he kicked my ass coming in a full ten minutes earlier than me! Oh, to be young! On to my point….you know how I am an Insanity freak? Well, after completing my first round, I took a month off and did it again. I never stopped after finishing my second round in March, btw….LOVE it! But, now I only do Insanity three times a week so I can incorporate my beloved runs. The real reason that prompted me to do Insanity in the first place is that I caught a glimpse of my arm fat in the side mirror of my car. I wanted to puke! I had old lady arms! Agh! Anyway, Insanity has helped, but I’m starting to run with hand weights to further youthenize my arm chub! What a differnce! I’m in no way suggesting you try it now, but as you learn to love your runs and wanna step it up a bit, try it! You’ll be pleased:-)

    • I want to see a before and after. My friend is a beachbody coach and loves all her at home workouts. I don’t really have much space and when I did p90x i sort of didn’t push myself. How do you push yourself with no one around? send me some tips! I wanna see the toned arms too.

      • Definitely need self discipline! The best motivation for me though, is results, not someone pushing me. Not just physical results, but feeling myself get stronger is a huge motivator. I’ve incorporated the p90x shoulders and arm routine once a week, too. Somethings bound to work! I’ll try to get you some before and afters, in the meantime, keep your blogs comin’! They make my day:-)

  2. OMG I was rolling with your comments said with the garage door shut. You should do stand up comedy. You are hilarious!!!!

  3. HaHa!! I have already learned the “do not EVER commit to a time because I have made that mistake multiple times and no matter how freaking EARLY I try to load up the car… I’m late :/ So damned irritating… Ugh. And I am not sure what type of things the neighbors hear me say but I can say that you are NOT alone 🙂 I am sure crazy stuff flies from my mouth…. I hate that :/ I so wish I had the patience of Mother Theresa… I don’t though and it makes me feel like such a SUPER jerk :/ I love your blog!!

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