Out The Door With Four or More. What NOT to Do. The title of my new book. Well, the one I’ve written in my head at least. Originally, it was just Out The Door With Four or More, but obviously I’m ill equipped to write such a fictional self help book. Here are a few samples of my What NOT To Do:
1. Never commit to an arrival time. You will NEVER be on time. EVER. Even if you are on time, someone for sure will
A: Pee in their car seat even if they just went 5 minutes before (Potty training SUCKS)
B: Throw up down their shirt
C: Pee or throw up on YOUR shirt
2. Never put your kids’ shoes on before arriving at your destination. They WILL take them off along the way.
3. Just because the garage door is shut, doesn’t mean the neighbors can’t hear you screaming. Here are some favorite quotes I entertain my neighbors with.
“Who do you think is gonna wipe your butt when Mommy is in the insane asylum?!”
“I’m putting you all up for adoption if you don’t get in the car NOW!”
“Santa does NOT give gifts to kids who call each other Poo-Poo! I’m calling him RIGHT NOW! Is that what you want?!”
I seriously can go on and on. I’m a hot mess. Reality TV would have a field day at our house. It can be a reality show geared to PREVENT teen pregnancy. Instead of Teen Mom 2, it can be called So You Want To Be A Mom 1. We’ll see how many teens are eager to be a mom after watching my show.
So as you can see, since I’ve started the Maria Plan, I have lost 3 lbs! Forget the fact that I was sick for a week. 3lbs is 3lbs! Now to keep the ball rolling. My fellow fat blogger Tom
and I are going to do a weight loss challenge. More on that once we decide what the specifics are.
Today is Day 2 of my C25K 8 weeks of running! So far so good. Am excited to get out and burn some frustration tonight. Oh and some fat too.