Noah’s hates everything chocolate (freak), but I needed brown frosting so I went on ehow.com to see the exact food coloring blend to make brown. My gut instinct was to just squirt a whole bunch of colors in the bowl. We all know this works from having to share the watercolor tray with the dumb kid who never rinses his brush before double dipping. Yup, brown.
The site said mix red and yellow at a 7/4 drops ratio, did it….. Um, that makes the color vomit.
If it’s not dark enough, it said to add a couple of blue drops…..Now we’ve got the color diarrhea.
If it’s too warm of a brown, add a drop or two of green… Hey folks! We’ve now got pus!
I wonder if Crayola would like me to come create my new colors for them? Think about it? How many little boys have so needed these colors when drawing? So I ended up just squirting in a bunch of black. Now we had mold. Perfect color for an old pirate ship. 🙂
So the cake making went something like this. Make the cake in 6 sections. Arrange and “glue” them together to make a ship. Frost. Go to pick up the kids from school, only to return to it coming “unglued” and to be in 6 piece on the floor (A huge piece literally rolled off the counter). Spend the next hour scrubbing black food coloring out of the white tile floor. Look at clock. Oh, joy! It’s 4:15 and company is coming over at 5:30. No cake, no dinner, no gifts wrapped and a dirty house. Fan-f’ing-tastic!
Long story short, I pulled it together with help from Coy and my sister-in-law. We ate the Man-Pleasing Chicken, roasted cauliflower and potatoes, and garlic bread rolls. Mmmmm. I had a little bit of everything, including a small piece of cake. It was my first cheat in a week of eating Paleo followed by a week of the Belly Fat Cure. I may have well eaten the whole damn cake though. More on that later. Here’s a shot of the cake. I told Noah it had been attacked by a Sea Kraken (aka Mom) and maybe a few cannonball attacks (Mom, again).
Ah ha ha ha! Just about fell out of my seat laughing when I read Danny’s blog yesterday. I needed that. He totally reminds me of myself with his take on dieting, except that he actually loses weight. Which brings me to the topic I wanted to avoid today. It is Put On The Pants Day. I’ll put them on tonight when Coy can take a picture. It is also weigh in day. I was super excited, but actually didn’t really feel thinner. I stood on the scale and confirmed what I already feared might be true. I weighed 141. That’s right. Gained another pound. I cried, literally. Actually, am in tears as I type this. Didn’t make it to the gym yesterday or today. Can feel a wave of depression and “screw it” taking over. Might as well eat something REALLY BAD since clearly dieting is an expensive waste of my time. May need to make a “run for the border” today. And I don’t mean Mexico…although, that would be nice about right now . Totally. Utterly. Completely. Exhausted. Gimme a damn taco. NOW.