Now what?

Noah’s hates everything chocolate (freak), but I needed brown frosting so I went on to see the exact food coloring blend to make brown. My gut instinct was to just squirt a whole bunch of colors in the bowl. We all know this works from having to share the watercolor tray with the dumb kid who never rinses his brush before double dipping. Yup, brown.

The site said mix red and yellow at a 7/4 drops ratio, did it….. Um, that makes the color vomit.

If it’s not dark enough, it said to add a couple of blue drops…..Now we’ve got the color diarrhea.

If it’s too warm of a brown, add a drop or two of green… Hey folks! We’ve now got pus!

I wonder if Crayola would like me to come create my new colors for them? Think about it? How many little boys have so needed these colors when drawing? So I ended up just squirting in a bunch of black. Now we had mold. Perfect color for an old pirate ship. 🙂

So the cake making went something like this. Make the cake in 6 sections. Arrange and “glue” them together to make a ship. Frost. Go to pick up the kids from school, only to return to it coming “unglued” and to be in 6 piece on the floor (A huge piece literally rolled off the counter). Spend the next hour scrubbing black food coloring out of the white tile floor. Look at clock. Oh, joy! It’s 4:15 and company is coming over at 5:30. No cake, no dinner, no gifts wrapped and a dirty house. Fan-f’ing-tastic!

Long story short, I pulled it together with help from Coy and my sister-in-law.  We ate  the Man-Pleasing Chicken, roasted cauliflower and potatoes, and garlic bread rolls. Mmmmm. I had a little bit of everything, including a small piece of cake. It was my first cheat in a week of eating Paleo followed by a week of the Belly Fat Cure. I may have well eaten the whole damn cake though. More on that later. Here’s a shot of the cake. I told Noah it had been attacked by a Sea Kraken (aka Mom) and maybe a few cannonball attacks (Mom, again).

Ah ha ha ha! Just about fell out of my seat laughing when I read Danny’s blog yesterday. I needed that. He totally reminds me of myself with his take on dieting, except that he actually loses weight. Which brings me to the topic I wanted to avoid today. It is Put On The Pants Day. I’ll put them on tonight when Coy can take a picture. It is also weigh in day. I was super excited, but actually didn’t really feel thinner. I stood on the scale and confirmed what I already feared might be true. I weighed 141. That’s right. Gained another pound. I cried, literally. Actually, am in tears as I type this. Didn’t make it to the gym yesterday or today. Can feel a wave of depression and “screw it” taking over. Might as well eat something REALLY BAD since clearly dieting is an expensive waste of my time. May need to make a “run for the border” today. And I don’t mean Mexico…although, that would be nice about right now . Totally. Utterly. Completely. Exhausted. Gimme a damn taco. NOW.


10 thoughts on “Now what?

  1. I say who can weigh in and diet on National Cheese Ball Day! Now that is what I call a holiday!
    How is it that Groundhog’s day has preferred billing than this holiday! Check it out on
    Have a cheese ball and a glass of wine tonight and get a fresh start tomorrow! 😉
    After all…. tomorrow is another day……

  2. Love you! You can do this!! Just keep at it!! Sometimes it happens to us all….my motto for today is if we are what we eat then I need to eat a skinny person!!! Hang in there!!!

  3. You do make me smile… I don’t think I would manage to make it through a day of doing anything right if I had children so hat’s off to you Maria.

    I think the best thing to do it to not give up on something to quick. I didn’t read the belly fat cure link truth be told, though from what you were telling me, it didn’t seem like something you would lose weight on.

    I think you should give the paleo thing a go and try to be 100% or as close to as possible. Since my blog earlier in the week and deciding that I will by hook or crook be as close to paleo as possible – the only place I have strayed is by still having to latte’s made on soy milk each day that I am at work (I need that, I am sat at a desk)

    Maybe shift the focus in your mind of actual weight loss and take other kind of measurements like body fat % or a tape measure around your waist? Surely if you are going to a crossfit gym they offer these kinds of things?

    Personally I check my weight every morning to see how I am tracking and to motivate myself (sad I know) though I am ultimately more interested in loosing body fat and inches… and being healthy obviously 🙂


    Caveman Danny…

    PS: You’re lucky I was not present at the pirate ship cake eating… Id have demolished the lot… YUM

  4. Love the Pirate Ship Cake!! So cute and fun! You’ll get there…I have visions of two spectacularly colorful, thin gals crossing the finish line come June! You got this–don’t give up!!

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