If I had been a caveman, I’d have lasted about a week and not because I’d have been eaten by a T-rex either. Because I’d have died of starvation. I’d have been the fattest person ever to have died of starvation. Fattest, because I’m now convinced that eating leaves and other torturously healthy foods has a direct impact on the expansion of my ass. I know, I know, give it time, blah blah blah. I’m happy to “give it time” if I’m simply cutting back on calories or adding in an evening stroll, but by only eating all this food that tastes like the blandest of all blandness, I don’t think so. Bitter you ask? Why yes, I am. I spent an entire week neglecting household chores, my children and What Not To Wear, holed up in my little kitchen cooking away like freaking Paula Dean. Only she gets the fun of sampling all her treats where I just would look at the food thinking, “I have to eat this healthy crap for dinner?” If one more person tells me it’s a “lifestyle,” not a “diet,” I’m gonna stuff an almond meal and blueberry cowpie down their throat. Then ask them how they are enjoying their “lifestyle.”
Well, as all good yo-yo dieters do, I’m on to a new diet! Whoo hoo! It’s the Belly Fat Cure! Now this dude knows what real people eat. He has the same views on good health, limited sugar and fortunately uses a lot of the same ingredients. I guess I can take the coconut oil back out of the medicine cabinet for now (it’s good for the hair and skin too.)
Check it out and let me know if you’ve tried it. Belly Fat Cure. I have to admit, I’m just excited to be able to eat cheese again.
One of my blogging buddies has motivated me to get off my butt and try out a 5K. He has had tremendous weight loss results. So I’ve roped in a friend and we are going to sign up tonight to do the Color Run in Tulsa on June 23rd. Now I haven’t run that far in close to 10 years. I don’t run anymore, unless I’m being chased. I figure I’d better start though in case I have to out run a tornado. Don’t laugh people. Haven’t you seen Twister?