Paleo-Faileo

Ugh, Thursdays are just the worst. No preschool on Thursdays. PLUS they have this coming Friday and Monday off. Didn’t we just have Spring Break a week ago? As I made my morning coffee, I prepared for the worst. In a pathetic attempt to start out on the right foot, I slicked my unwashed, rat’s nest back into a ponytail, put some funky earrings on, and accessorized with a mismatched scarf. Then, looked at myself in the mirror and declared, “Oooh, I’m so Pinterest today!” But really, I looked like some sort of dirty, crazed lunatic who wrangles rabid toddlers for a living. Regardless, it was the perfect look for my adventure to Wal-Mart with 3 pre-schoolers.

All I had to do was make a simple return. Simple my ass. The lady could not get the bar code to read so she asked me to go get another pair of the shoes. I looked at her, then over at Reeve who was trying to take a blanket off of a sleeping baby, Kaia who was swinging on the aisle ropes shouting, “Ya, Horsey!”, and Maddox who was attempting to sign his name on the credit card thingy, sighed and gathered the troops. Three new pairs of shoes (stupid, ugly ones with Spiderman and Lightning McQueen that light up), two time outs, and one frantic, mad dash to the restroom later, we returned to the exchange counter. The lady says, “Oh, sorry ma’am, you needed to get the same size shoes for the  bar codes to match.” Are you freaking kidding me? By now all the kids have their original shoes off and are sitting in the aisle trying to put their new ones on. Frustrations are rising. I don’t know which I’m more angry about, the shoes or the fact that another person has called me “ma’am.” I’m about to say that I’ll just keep the shoes when a lady walks up to me and says, “Can I help you? I’ve got 4 of my own.” Hallelujah! She ran off and got me the correct sized shoe, returned and said, “The worst is almost over.” Thank you fellow mom of four, who did not say, ” One day, you will miss this.” or, “Someone’s got their hand’s full.” or, “Aren’t you blessed!”

To round out this picture perfect day, I made a crock pot Paleo dinner that tastes like cooked feet. No one could eat it. I was so tired that I fed the kids cheese sticks (fail!), goldfish crackers (fail!) and told them that if they’d just sit quietly and watch TV for 10 minutes, I’d give them candy. Supreme fail. I ate my body weight in honey and almond butter, straight out of the jars. Today was a major Paleo-Faileo.

Thanks to girlmeetspaleo who coined the phrase “Paleo-Faileo.” I have a terrible feeling that I’ll be using it on a regular basis. You’re blog made me smile today!

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4 thoughts on “Paleo-Faileo

  1. Ahhhh…Maria, the memories you are evoking in my mind! Took my three preschoolers ions ago to the store once and they stood in the shopping cart having a fit to the point the whole thing tipped over! I was mortified and NO ONE stopped to help, or ask if everyone was okay. I scooped them all up and left the cart overturned right in the aisle. Shopping with little ones isn’t for the faint of heart! Love your blog…Jean

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