Coconut oil. The truth shall set you free. I’m gonna swim in it, drink it, bathe with it and maybe even marry it. I’m sure Coy will totally be fine with it. Because who doesn’t want a hot wife? It is after all, like the fountain of youth in a bottle (or in my case, an ugly plastic jar with white, solidified oil). Imagine all the money we’ll save on my plans for Botox, a future facelift and skin care products? Is something that has 15 grams of saturated fat per serving, really going make my cholesterol go down and my energy go up? Is it really going to give me Rapunzel locks and make a quarter bounce off my ass? Check it out and let me know what you think.
My friend Suzy, you know the hot mom of four I told you about, makes her Shakeology shake every morning with Flax seeds, Kale and Coconut oil added to it. Plus other gross stuff I can’t remember. So I figured if I want to look like Suzy (who, by the way, ruined me and my “I look this way cuz I’ve had 4 kids,” excuse), I’d better eat the same gross stuff she does. Before I can buy Shakeology, I need to see if I can do this whole shake thing, so here’s what’s been “shakin'” on my end. Suzy and my Crossfit instructors are all going to do a mental head slap with this one. Doh!
After Crossfit this morning, I stopped by Walmart and bought some Special K pre-mixed protein shakes. Same stuff as Slim Fast. It has 28 grams of carbs and 18 grams of sugar. Paleo and Suzy, no-no’s. But the thought of dragging my kids into a GNC with all those pill bottles to touch and carefully stacked pyramids of protein powders to climb on, was just too much to handle after yesterday. Anyway, I poured one in my Ninja, threw in a handful of kale (gag), a scoop of Flax seed, and finally a big ol’ scoop of solidified coconut oil. Then a half a banana, some ice and some Baileys. Don’t judge, it was just sitting there again and I made this for dinner, not breakfast, so it was like squeezing in dessert at the same time. I’m quite efficient like that.
It was pretty good and I feel healthier already. Plus the Baileys had the added effect of relaxation, which in turn reduces stress, which then causes your body to produce less Cortisol, which then will make your waistline smaller. See the genius in all of this? I’ll probably be getting a call from the Shakeology people thanking me for this great weight loss tip. I think their next shake flavor should be Key Lime Coconut Oil Pie. I’m thinking Malibu Coconut Rum……Yup, I’m sure they will be calling me any day now. Most likely with a job offer in their marketing department or better yet, as a taste tester. “Put the lime in the coconut and drink it all up!” Go ahead, click on those blue words. I dare you.