After pigging out all spring break, I’m totally disgusted with myself. Also, I feel like an idiot for starting a weight loss blog just before embarking on a week away from my normal routine. Today is my second weigh in, but It’s already late so I will have to do it in the morning, obviously naked and after all bathroom moments. Obviously.
Tonight, I’m celebrating with my newest, most exciting purchase! My Ninja blender! OMG. I was feeling so gross about myself and all that I ate, so I went to WalMart, bought a Ninja and a huge bag of kale. What is kale anyway? My friend puts it in her daily smoothie and swears that it has changed her life. Well, she looks awesome and I totally believe her. Unfortunately, I have nothing else to mix it with, so looks like for breakfast I’ll have a smoothie of kale and…..??
Wait! Back the truck up! Did I just make an amazing Ninja smoothie discovery? Why, yes, I did! While pondering what to add to my breakfast Kale smoothie tomorrow morning, I thought I’d give this baby a test run. Hmm, what can I throw in it tonight? A banana, BAM! A cup of almond milk, BAM! A cup of ice, BAM! Sounds like I’m on the right track, right? Then I saw something hiding in the back of my fridge. Something that was just begging to be added to my banana, almond milk extravaganza. Baileys! An ice-cold bottle of Baileys. The devil was back. He told me that it was Saturday night and not to be such a big loser. He told me that after about setting the hotel on fire yesterday and having slept with a 2 year old contortionist for the past two nights, I needed some Baileys. Did I listen to that little shit? Yes. Yes, I did. And let me tell you. It was worth every, creamy, sweet, perfectly blended sip. Thank you Ninja. I have a feeling this is the beginning of something special.
Don’t worry, I’m still getting on the scale in the morning and will post my weight.The party is over. It is ON like Donkey Kong.